I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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