Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
