i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Randomize
