I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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