Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
