Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
