i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
He passed out mid-signature
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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