i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
