No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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