you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
