Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
True but thats because hes a fetus.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
