forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
