Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
