i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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