He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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