Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
