just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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