Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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