I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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