i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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