Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
