It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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