You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
