There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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