I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
