Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
