I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
