I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
this is an emotional support booty call
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
