absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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