With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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