does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Acid is not a monday night drug
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
