break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
