Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
