This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
