Even water is tasting like jack daniels
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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