I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
