girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
