That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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