Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
