I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
