Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
