Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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