I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
