we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
