are you so shy because you have an std?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
