Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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