I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
