me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
