dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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