You're my little dorito
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
