Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
The air was thick with penises
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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