Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
