3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
