After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
