I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize